Thinking Strange Thoughts - The Youth Of Today

One thing I have noticed about the youth of today is that they don’t do what they are told. When I was young we always did as we were told, even when we were not told anything we still did it just in case.

There was far more discipline when I was a lad, although I have to admit I was a little bit naughty when I was at school and did not always pay attention. Of course nowadays I would be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, a magnesium deficiency, allergy to several food colourings and dyslexia. I would receive special counseling and probably get a pension for life, but in those days I was just called “a very naughty boy” and received regular thrashings on the fingers with a cane. Now, these damn good thrashings did me no harm at all, apart from still having no feeling in my fingertips and breaking in to a cold sweat every time I pass a cane furniture shop. Later on in life I joined the army where I was abused and shouted at very loudly, by various , very large sergeants in several interesting locations around the world.

Anyway, suffice to say, all this has made me the model citizen that I am now, but for the youth of today, life is very different. I think I can give you a small example.

When I was a young lad the toaster had not been invented, or if it had been invented we certainly could not afford one. I think I may have mentioned before that I had a very poor upbringing, in fact sometimes thieves would break into our house and redecorate., but that’s another story. Now, because we did not own a toaster, every time we had a meal involving toast, which in fact was most days, because we lived on beans on toast, my job was to toast the bread on a fork in front of an open fire.

Now, I know some rich people would have a fork with a five metre long handle, so that they could sit on the other side of the lounge and read The Times whilst they toasted, but I was just given a small dinner fork, this meant that I practically had to stand in the fire to toast the bread, As a result of this, by the time I had finished every ones toast, the front half of my body had been semi-cremated and for years the hair in the front half of my head refused to grow back, of course nowadays the hair on the back half of my head also refuses to grow back so things have evened out, but at the time it had a big effect on my life. You know how cruel children can be, so it was not good turning up to school with a hairline that started behind my ears, I was often called cruel names, such as, Coco the Clown and Art Garfunkel.

Anyway, the point is, imagine if I asked a young person nowadays to stand about five centimetres away from a roaring fire and toast bread. They would tell me where to go, there would be complaints of child abuse. It would take a huge pocket money increase, a fork with a two metre handle and an asbestos suit before they would even consider it.

I think you can see my point, times have changed, there’s been a complete breakdown in discipline. But what can you do, you just have to accept it.

Stephen Ainley.....just sitting here, not speaking until he's spoken to.....


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